Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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