i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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