Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
