I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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