Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
did you just send me my own nude
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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