He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
