i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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