What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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