i may or may not be watching the land before time
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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