they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
