Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
