a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
