and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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