Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
