I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
