Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize