Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm getting married
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.