You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
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Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
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I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.