Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
as a side note pls kill me
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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