A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
