i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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