whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
