She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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