And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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