so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
