just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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