Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
