i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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