went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
