We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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