I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
