Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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