I think I died a long time ago.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
