Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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