JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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