you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
