I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize