need another drink. this is the easiest way
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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