Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
