im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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