Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
