Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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