the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
