why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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