Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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