It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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