wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
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His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
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At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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