i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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