she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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