all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
