He asked to "fluff my boner.."
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
