If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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