yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
