Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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