Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
