do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
