So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
it hurts more in the daytime
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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