we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
