1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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