Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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